Ways Pet Memorials Can Help A Youngster While Grieving The Passing Of A Family Pet
A parent may think that a child will learn what death is from school or from a playmate, but it's usually the parent that will have to address this subject someday. Many adults choose to avoid talking to their children about death and then later regret doing so. Scheduling family time to talk about serious issues such as death are important to setting the expectations of your children. Never underestimate the bond a child had with his pet because it is likely something that will follow him into his adulthood. Children are not equipped to deal with the death of a pet, so its up to the parent to provide them with the necessary tools.
Many times children will not attend the funeral of a relative at an early age, so their experience with death usually stems from a lost pet. Children are known to express their emotions differently, so we often are not aware of how upset a child is after the death of a pet. Its okay for a parent to feel overwhelmed in explaining death to a child, so long as they address the issue soon after the loss. Most children are surpisingly knowledgeable when it comes to the death of a pet.
It can be difficult to explain that all living things come to an end, especially when your don't want to concern your child about your own death. Giving a chiild the tools and knowledge to deal with the loss of a pet beforehand, allows that child to better deal with his emotions and grief. Our children deserve our attention and a feeling of security from us when their experiencing loss in their lives. Its not a good idea to let a child bottle up his emotions and never express them, especially after a recent loss in their lives. While its not a birds and bees talk, letting your children know that all living animals come to an end is something that needs to be discussed promptly.
While its a good idea to explain loss to your child, it may be too early to discuss with a 4 year old. Children may contemplate death as a deep sleep for which the beloved pet may wake. Whether your religious or not, there is nothing wrong with explaining to a child that his or her animal is in a better resting place. Making sure your child has no lasting guilt with death of his pet is key to getting him through his grief.
Older children may have a better understanding of death, but are by no means familiar with the process. Don't let a child make a comparison of their life with the lost pet, otherwise they may worry about their own death. The loss of a life within a family is a good time to talk to your children about their long future ahead. Catching early behavorial problems your child is displaying and are associated with the loss of a pet are important to catch early. Deep rooted emotional problems take time to resolve, so expect to work with your child for several weeks. Taking the time to explain things to your child many times over a long period is more productive than just a a couple short conversations.
Children often request a parent to perform some kind of service for their pet. Some families prefer pet urns or pet headstone placed in their backyard that can accomodate their pet's ashes. This symbolism will help a child cope and say his or her goodbyes. If you don't allow some time before purchasing another pet, you will interrupt the very important grieving process. While it may seem easier to rush out and replace a pet, its essential a family has time to heal from the loss of the family pet.
A teenager will likely react much like an adult when it comes to death. A teenager may never display behavorial problems, keep silent, and might not talk about the loss of their pet to anyone. Your teenager may not bring up the death of his pet until he is in college or even years later.
